Top 5 reasons that I kinda understand why Darth Vader was so pissed off

Who hasn't wanted to force-choke someone before? If your hand isn't raised, you're lying. There aren't too many villains out there that are more bad-ass than Darth Vader. The question is, why was he so pissed off all the time? force-choking people left and right, just to make a point. Some might say that is just the way of the Sith, but he seemed a bit more angry than the others. Well, here's why. They're in no particular order and there are WAY more reasons than just these, but these are enough to get your Sith blood boiling.

Number 5

Someone gives you the most bad-ass job in the world and then tells you that you will be an intern for the rest of your life.

Being a Jedi must be a pretty sweet gig. Sure, you’re not supposed to have any emotional connections, but they have the same rule when you work for Walmart. You’re telling me that you’re going to give me more than seven bucks an hour, I get to wear this sweet ass cloak, I get super powers, and I get a laser sword? Sign me up! Wait…what? Tell Yoda to get his own blue milk. Why do I have to get it? I’m a council member, damn it. When you are one of the best and they tell you that you'll never be a Master, it's time to renegotiate for a better deal.

Number 4

You take over the biggest, most feared army in the galaxy just to realize that they can’t hit the broad side of a barn.

Hey Vader, you know that army that took out all the Jedi? Yeah, the ones that were cloned from one of the best soldiers in the galaxy. Well, happy birthday, champ. They’re yours to command. You say jump, they say how high? You say shoot, they say who and how many times?

No not him, shoot the guy in the red. How’d you miss him? He’s like ten feet away. What do you mean he was moving? He was running away. It’s not like he was zigzagging. Ok, shoot that guy. Now how’d you miss him? You shot like six times before he shot once. The light couldn’t have been in your eyes, the helmets have visors you idiot! No, it’s not another drill, you dummy. Someone is messing with the ship, go find them and shoot them.

Number 3

Sunburns are the worst.

Have you ever been to Phoenix in the summer? Have you ever laid out on the beaches of Hawaii and forgot your sunscreen?

Now imagine that over your entire body for the rest of your life. Aloe Vera isn’t doing shit. You can take as many incubator tube baths as you want, but as soon as you’re out it’s back to walking stiff and force-choking anyone that pats you on the back. Why do you think that guy never sat down? Have you ever sat down with an epic Labor Day burn? You have to go down 80% and then take the next three minutes for the last 20% so you ease down on the back of the chair like a vampire.

Number 2

You found out that your long-lost son totally frenched his sister.

Come on Obie Wan, you never thought to mention “hey, that chick that we are going to save, yeah she’s your sister so put the light saber away buddy.” How is it that the little hologram pops up and you’re not like “whoa, that’s your sister dude.”? Even as a force ghost. You talked in his head for like 45 minutes after you went abracadabra out of your robes. Next time, drop it in somewhere. “Use the force Luke…and stop ogling Princess Leia, Ya’ll don’t have the same nose by coincidence." He totally did that shit on purpose just to laugh at everyone later. Jedi Ghost Fail.

Number 1

Your boss tells your son to kill you just to take your job.

You ever have a boss that just doesn’t appreciate you? So, you spend most of your teenage years being led around like a lapdog by this joker and when he’s about to get lightsabered you turn against the baddest MF in the galaxy just to save him. You sacrifice your entire family and then when you’re about to cross the finish line, what does this punk ass Emperor say? “Take your father’s place.” What? Bitch, he just cut my hand off and he’s tried to kill you like three times since he’s been here. Maybe just cut our losses on this one? I would’ve thrown his ass off that balcony too.

That's why Vader was always breathing heavy. The Republic Psychologist told him to take ten deep breaths every time he got frustrated and he never breathed normally again.

May the force be with you.