Two Sides of a Bulletproof Backpack and One Big Decision

I want to get a few facts out of the way first. These may help you put yourself into my shoes.

Fact 1, I am a gun owner. I have never bought a gun, but they were given to me by my grandfather before he passed away. So, while I have never considered myself a gun enthusiast, these weapons may mean more to me than many other guns may to other gun owners.

Fact 2, I am an independent voter. I have never really felt a distinct level of dedication to the left or the right in broad terms. There are subjects I lean more left on and subjects I lean more right on. I will leave it at that…for now.

Fact 3, I tend to play devil’s advocate and lean toward the side of cynicism. I usually do this to figure out if you really believe what you’re saying or if you are just regurgitating the favorite cookie-cutter slogan of the moment.

Fact 4, I am a father. My son is four years old.

Now, the argument…

Columbine. Virginia Tech. Sandy Hook. So many countless others as the years went on. These were not the first of course. Schoolhouse violence has been happening in the United States since before we were the United States. But hand-in-hand with Columbine came the internet push of the late nineties. It became the most publicized and most politicized act of violence that we had ever seen and those factors continue to grow with every new tragedy.

With that toxic level of exposure, we are causing a warranted dread in our children and an unwarranted romanticism to those people that have already been contemplating violence. Some may find the use of that term disgusting in these regards. How can you possibly romanticize the notion of being a murderer of children? Well…we write books about them. We produce movies about them. We watch their trials with bated-breath. And after all of this starry-eyed glamour, we don’t blame them for a moment of it. We excuse their actions and call them insane. Maybe they are…maybe they aren’t. We blame their parents. Maybe we should…maybe we shouldn’t. We blame their environment. Maybe they’re a victim too…maybe they aren’t.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has demons that they fight. Some of these children may have been put into situations that were impossible to overcome without scars. A common occurrence after shooting incidents is the notion of research into mental health. Since the year 2000 there have been over 236,000 students on school grounds during a school shooting. Let’s start there. Or, approximately 35 percent of children are living in a single-parent household. We can start there if you’d like. How about over 40 percent of children are below the poverty line. Would you like to start there?

As I said, everyone has a story. Those numbers represent some of them, but not all of them. We aren’t doing enough to help families in need and as we curse the high crime rates, we push aside and silence the potential causes. Mass violence is due to declining mental health. Declining mental health is largely spawned from environmental or physical traumas. We refuse to do anything about those traumas. But we will research mental health.

Ironically, the saying goes "The definition of insanity is to complete the same actions and expect different results". Yet, after every new tragedy one side pushes gun control and the other side pushes mental health research. It happens over and over, and we expect different results each time. Or do we? Is anyone really expecting change? So, who is insane here? Is it the shooter? Is it the society that hopes to change things by doing the same thing over and over again? Is it the society that has become so numb to violence and corruption that we don't even push for the change anymore? Or, is it the politicians that refuse to act so that they may remain politicians? They all sounds pretty insane right?

If you want my opinion, and I guess you have come this far so you must be looking for something, both sides will fail in the end because both sides refuse to change or compromise. The two sides are so far apart that they don’t even seem to have the capacity to try and understand the other, in most cases. When, ironically, they are closer to agreeing than they think. Both sides have recognized the problem and they fight over how to solve it. The right is trying to respond to potential threats while the left is trying to prevent them, and both sides have completely blinded themselves to the potential dangers that their own argument holds.

Say we put guns into schools. Is this a requirement to be a teacher now? Are we going to see even more of a decline in teachers than we are already experiencing? What if a student gets a hold of one of their guns? A good majority of my teachers I could have snapped in half. Oh, lock boxes. That should work…for a couple of months. Until someone gets careless. Not to mention that a 9mm isn’t going to do much versus someone wearing body armor that they bought on Amazon (with two-day delivery) and is carrying a fully automatic weapon. So…maybe not so far right.

Say we take all the guns off of the streets. We no longer have the right to own a gun as a citizen. Do the police still have guns? The ones that are killing people at an alarming rate? Maybe if there isn’t a potential threat of guns out there, they won’t feel so jumpy. Or instead, guns just became the new drug trade. They are being brought in from Mexico by the ton and being sold on the streets. So now it’s only the police and the criminals with guns. True, it may stop your average teenager from getting one and it may reduce mass shootings, but day to day crime rates just skyrocketed. Muggings, gang violence, and assaults just became a lot less of a risk for your criminal gun carrier because he KNOWS John Q. Citizen does not have anything to defend himself with. So…maybe not so far left.

But hey, there’s a lot of room in the middle there! Can’t we find a compromise? Just because we want more strict regulation on guns doesn’t mean that you can’t have one. Just because we want to have a better plan of action to respond to violent incidents doesn’t mean that we want to put a bazooka in the gym closet next to the basketballs and the track gear. Right? This is how a large majority of American's feel, so why can't we get it done? Ah, I forgot. You’re the enemy. You don’t operate under the same political party that I do, so you can’t possibly have the same end result in mind. The left hates you because you are right, the right hates you because you are left.

The notion of “the right wing being ran by old white men and they won’t be around forever” could be spun into truth in broad terms, but there is a very big piece of that puzzle that many don’t seem to get. Those old white men are raising young white men…and young white women…and, believe it or not, not every republican is white. So, if you are hoping that the future is just going to fall into your lap, you may have another thing coming.

On the other hand, for the right to believe that every liberal wants to rob you of your rights and hand the ideals of the country over to (insert name of neutral, thriving country here) is exhaustingly ridiculous. Are these not our allies? Haven’t you ever thought about a friend and said “You know, I really like how Shane treats other people, I’m going to try and do that.” or “Aaron is really good at playing the guitar, I’d like to learn that.”? So, what’s the problem? If this country has a stellar homelessness rate, maybe we can learn how they achieved it. I don’t think they would mind. If that country has a really low violent crime rate, maybe we can look into that a bit. It doesn’t mean that we have to carbon copy their processes, but maybe we can get some good ideas.

I’ll leave the argument at this… Stop.

Stop the “my way or the highway” attitude. Stop trying to make the country what you want it to be. Let’s work on making it what we all need it to be.

Now, onto my dilemma.

I had always wanted children. I come from a big family and my siblings have always been my best friends. But by 2015, when I found out he was on the way, so many tragedies had already happened. I still wanted him in my arms more than anything and I never wanted to let him go. But I worried… About the world that I was bringing him into… About what the future would hold for him…About how hard he would have to fight for his life before he even knew how to really live.

The last four years have been rough. Violence has become far more commonplace. The earth is literally choking. Countries go to war over commodities and terrorists commit unspeakable acts in the name of Gods that would be ashamed of them. But, so far, I have been able to shield him from it all. When he goes to the park, he sees green trees and fresh grass. When he watches TV, he sees a team of puppies that are all working together to solve the problem of the day. He knows nothing but love and joy…and it’s all about to come crashing down.

A standard Kindergarten age is the starting school year after your fifth birthday. Even more immediate, my son is delayed in his speech development. I know, ironic coming from his writer-father that rarely knows when to shut up. He’s incredibly bright, he just hasn’t gotten over the hump of developing full sentences to the level that has been set as “standard” for his age. Because of that, he has been accepted into a specialty school starting in a couple of weeks. This scares the hell out of me. I now have to choose between giving my son the fullest potential of an education and putting him in harm’s way.

I was looking at backpacks for him, and had to look at the product details of the bulletproof backpacks to see which ones would deflect automatic fire. Then I realized he wouldn’t even be strong enough to hold it and he wouldn’t know what to do if he were. Maybe his teacher could help him hold it up, but there are other kids in the class too. And she has to protect herself. It's not looking good.

His mother wants to do homeschooling. Maybe that’s the right move. It feels insufficient to me. I doubt that he would get the same level of education. I doubt he would get the same level of interaction. Of course, it’s possible to get these things in homeschooling, but are they likely? My heart says no.

So, I sit here writing. Thinking the same three thoughts over and over again.

Does my son belong in a school?

Am I willing to risk his life now to help him build a life for the future?

And lastly…

Does the bulletproof backpack come in toddler sizes with the Paw Patrol design?

I'm sorry, Dorian. I wish I could make the world happier for you, but we all forgot how to share. I love you and I hope you enjoy your first day of school.